it's not friday yet?

good day sir...or lady. Doesn't sound as good but w/e,

1. So this weeks has been moving so effing slow -_-.

2. I'm going to write long paragraph list blogs soon b/c I feel like these short list get dull. So be prepared for the friday to come!

3. I've been soooo busy lately but enjoying it. It's fun to get closer to Rass and listen to her sex jokes. Hot guy didn't show up to call backs so he won't be in the play...womp :(

4. This guy I was talking to got mad at ,e and like ditched me and acted like I fell of the face of the earth. Well thanks to the number game I talked to him. (he is the "dick" I mentioned in my other blog) well no one likes him b/c of what he did but I'm kinda used to it by him, and others. It's dumb and sad that I am but 100% true. I know if he gets single again and starts talking to me I'll be all heart eyed and junkk. Fml.

5. I WANT TO DATE SOMEONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. real bad. Just sayin.

6. I have a tiny hole in my finger and it hurts like shit.

7. Everyone has had sex this week. Last time I had sex was like... 2 years ago. Good?

8. Hope my mom doesn't read that. I would NEVER tell her about stuff like that. Sex=not family topic.

9. I put my tree up in my room, it's pretty. I also have a lightup spare ginger bread castle and a plush snowman.

10. I'm ready to go shopping.

11. My legs are soooo muscular. Hot?

12. I want people to open up to me and not worry. I spill my soul out to people and some never do the same to me. If I'm your friend you shouldn't worry.

NIGHTTTT :)

1am on a school night...tisk tisk.

well it is pretty late now isn't it?

it's late=short simple list.

1. This is totally my 2nd time writing this. Fml. Dumb phone.

2. I spent 8hours last night writing a research paper on Gay Marriage for English 3. It sucked hardcore. I couldn't get it to flow nicely but I fixed it and I'm pretty proud of the end result.

3. I started stage managing at Old Courthouse Theatre tonight it was SOOOOO fun.

4. There was 2 hot guys there. 1 was like 24 and Rass was his theacher in highschool. He was fineeeee. The other was like 30ish and looked pretty darn good for his age.

5. I think I like older men. Not that old but like 19 year olds are hottt. Weird?

6. Only thing we have on it the radio- :)

7. A lot of the women at the auditions tonight where old, had to much make-up, looked like they had botox, and wore leather boots. Yuckk.

8. I love bitching about stuff to Rass.

9. I REALLYYYYY want to make-out/ have sex w/ someone right now.

10. I still have feelings for a dick. Not at the moment but if he walks back in my life again I will. First loves are dumbb.

11. I'm scared I'm going to get my hopes up about Skins :( I hope I don't. But it'll be REAL complicated trying to figure out all the moving stuff.

12. I looked up blue waffel today...i barfed.

more on wen. Night one and all. Byeeeeee.

Happy Birthday Loley :)

1. This was supposed to be writin last night but I fell asleep. So I will be writing this now. Obviously.

2. So last night I worked at this animal place in downtown concord called KittyCity. It was fun and I wanted a job after but now thinking about it I have no time at all so it would be dumb.

3.  i hate how everytime i start "talking" to people it always turned out to be one epic fail and i start talking to them completly and im just left feeling dumb and like its all my fault but i dont think i ever do anything wrong.

4.  im in a very uncomfortable postition right now...womp.

5. i found out that most of the skins audition is improve. i suck at improv. also id miss A LOT of seinore year. but its waaaayyyy worth it.

6. i have a headache.

7.  im ready for christmas, and new clothes. b/c they make me feel hotttt.

8. im not sure what else to right about.

9. mall today was fun, but i didnt Lole anything so i felt like i sucked at life. i just didnt get the memo. plus i cant use much money b/c of christmas and junkk.

10. i didnt feel like talking much today. i still dont really. ive just been thinking a lot. about boys, audition, how my life sucks in geral. blahhh.

11. snuggeling w/ mikaella is hotttttt.

12. finally at the end. i hate how my thing doesnt capatalize the letters  after periods like it used to :/. byeeeee.

Well, here we go.

Everyone else decided to blog today so I did too. I didn't want to be the lame in the group. Everyone is blogging everday in december and I'm NOT going to. Way to much work, so I decided to blog 3 times a week. 3X4=12. This is the 12th month and 12 days of christmas...so it made since. This is my gift to you! And all of these blogs will be a list of 12 things starting... NOW!

1. I feel ugly a good...95% of the time. I mean when I get cute clothes and wear them around I don't but when I'm just wearing semi-old clothes and walking around school I feel fat and gross. When people tell me I'm not I get all happy but then in my head I go "they're just saying that to make you feel better". 5 steps forward and 6 steps back.

2. I've been watching this show from the You.K called Skins since last thurday and it's coming to the USA in January. Since thurday I am 1/2 way through the fourth season. I'm addicted. Skins gets a new cast every 2 seasons and since they're filming the US one now Open Cast calls well be applying soon for other seasons.  This is my dream job and I'm going to audition. I HAVE to be a part of this. This could be my break! I would have to finish High School online and move to Toronto. But I would do ANYTHING to be on Skins. My parents agreed. TheyLll take me to auditions in NYC and if I get a part we will figure out living and stuff. TheyLre so supportive and I'm glad :)

3. Making these list are hard sometimes.

4. I have conversations in my head... A LOT

5. I get to put my big floor to ceiling tree up this weekend!

6. I'm getting way cute clothes for christmas.

7. My 2 week break of plays was nice but starting next week I'm stage managing at Old Courthouse Theatre( biggest theatre organization in Concord/Kanapolis) for the show Divorce Southern Style. I'm excited. My school director is directing it and I get to spend time w/ her which is fun. Plus boss like 8 adults around :)

8. Since I am writing on my phone it stops expanding at a certan point and I can't see what I'm writing. That point is now.

10. This is hardd. Sorry for any grammar problems.

11. I REALLY want to makeout w/ someone soon. I havnt in awhile.

?. I've lost count :( I'm guessing 11?

12. I love my friends. And I hate that I always look mad.

list #1 complete :)

p.s: I'm listening to me and Chessa Metz song as I write this <3

byeeeee

When did this happen???

Long time, no see?

So, lately something weird has happend... boys are starting to flirt w/ me out of nowhere?! It's so weird! Like I'm just chillen and havn't changed my apperance at all and then BAM like 4 guys have started flirting w/ me at once. It's crazy. I've never thought i was cute but people are telling me I am wich is hard to believe. Even the other day my friend told me she doesn't like my bad self image and how i don't see my own beauty. IDK, it's hard for me to believe it all; and to think i could possibly be dating someone soon is CRAZY! I'm not sure where im going w/ this blog so I'll just stop here.

So goodnight and I'll blog more tomorrow :)

pissy=blog time.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr;

I've been so pissy lately but whatever. My blog today is going to be a love hate blog so here we go...

HATE:
1. I HATE how the HATE section is the easiest to do.
2. I HATE when you dislike someoone who everyone seems to love.
3. I HATE wanting to be bff's with someone and you don't think you can.
4. I HATE how dramatically my life changes so much.
5. I HATE being single.
6. I HATE being afraid to date.
7. I HATE how I don't know what my exact feeling are any more.
8. I HATE feeling like the clock is ticking and the good times with my friendships are coming to a end.
9. I HATE how I loose friends to much.
10. I HATE my life a good...91% of the time.
11. I HATE how I sound like this whiney little bitch in my blogs.
12. I HATE not being good at any thing.
13. I HATE how I'm a sucky friend.
14. I HATE how I can't be 100% honest on my own blog or to my friends.
15. I HATE how this blog is dumb.

LOVE:
1. I LOVE the good music I'm listening to.
2. I LOVE that my friends stick with me even though I moun a lot.
3. I LOVE all my inside jokes with people.
4. I LOVE that Pippin is over.
5. I LOVE that The Birds is so close :)

that's it :/ I could add a few more on hate but I won't. Ughhhhhhhhh. Off to bed.

bye.

Questions???

How are you?

I have a lot of questions that just poped in my head and I'm sorry but this is going to be another list blog. But you can get over it.

1. How do you know you truly like someone? How do you know that this is what you really are feeling and your not convincing yourself that you do. What proof do you need to be 100% sure and how do you get it.

2. How are you ment to be 100% honest on a blog if you know people you are talking about are going to read it. I mean if you think about it blogging is ment to be honest and to get all of your feelings out and share them. But if you don't want to name names on blog arnt you still holding stuff in?

3. I feel like I'm to much for pwoplw, even my friends sometimes. But how do you know? I feel like I'm annoying but how are you ment to tell. I wish I knew peoples veiws on me.

4. How do I know for sure if acting is what I want.

all of these are swimming around in my hand but none can be answerd. All of them are ment to be answerd individualy and that sucks. I hate dealing with inner questions but oh well, that's just life I guess.

I want everyone to put their life questions in my comments and answer mine if they'd like. :)

goodnight.