Closer and Closer, Book by Book

Whats Crackalakin,

I thinks that's how you spell it?

Idk, its five in the morning and Ive been up all night and I feel like I should blog... and make a list =]

1. I have been up all night watching this movie called Speak.
2. The movie is based off the novel Speak written by Laurie Halse Anderson
3. The book/movie is about this girl who got raped at a party in eight grade and ended up calling the cops after and they busted the party and everyone was mad at her and one her first day of high school she decides not to speak because no one would listen to her anyway.  She ends up falling in love with art and it pushes her to realize and cope with her past to to speak on it. It was great!
4. One thing I loved about it was the symbolism. In the begging her art teacher randomly picks thing out of a hat that that they have to draw and turn into art throughout the year. She gets a tree and at first I didn't get it but near the end I loved it. The first reason it relates is because the car she got raped in was in front of a tree and that's what she looked at the whole time. Also a tree symbolizes new life which she gets by the end.
5. Kristen Stewart was the lead and she did a great job. I know a lot of people don't like her but I feel like our acting is similar. Nether of us completely become the person we are acting as, we just put ourselves in their shoes.
6. I stumbled upon the movie because I was looking at books I wanted to read.
7. I want to read a book that's very emotional and will actually make me feel for the characters.
8. I think the reason I want a deep and dark book is because Ive never felt truly depressed. Even when my life sucks and I cryed every day I wasn't depressed I don't think. Because I saw the light at the end of the tunnel and I knew I could make my way out of it eventually.  I'm not sure if its a good thing I have never felt truly sad or not? I want to read a emotional book to feel those emotions and to feel strongly about something. I mean sure I feel strongly about my opinions and stuff but I have never felt strongly about my feelings.  I always just seem to ignore them and block them from my memory. Looking back I cant remember a single time I felt sad. Sure I might get down sometimes but I think I block my true feeling away because I'm scared of getting hurt or hurting myself. In away I'm glad I do that but for one day I wish I knew how I truly felt. Maybe that is why I'm not sure about anything... my career... my want... even myself?
9. I was thinking maybe Reality Television can help start my career in TV acting? I mean maybe that is just fate dragging me to it for a reason?
10. But I have been think a lot about teaching. Even when I was watching Speak I loved the idea of helping someone find who they are and what they love to do. I love helping people! I feel like I don't get helped enough in life but of course I never allow anyone too. I just think what could be better then helping someone become the person they really want to be! Because I would love someone like that in my life and I would love to be that person in someone else's.
11. But I'm deffo not giving up my plans for acting.
12. I realized that I seem to block away people, I get aggravated and don't want help. And I'm not sure why because I feel like I need help a lot in life.
13. I don't get why kids cant tell their parents stuff. I would love for my mom to help me because she has been through so much, but I cant. I see it all the time in movies where the parents are just clueless about their child's life and I don't get why that is. I don't get why us teens are born to block out stuff and not spill our guts to our parents. I don't want my future kids to not tell me stuff. I want to be a friend to them but I feel like no one can truly do that because I think every parent tries to get close to their kids but always fails.
14. I'm not sure how I feel at the moment and I don't know how to fin out what it is and it worries me.
15. I sound emo lol. All my blogs do but personally I think I'm happy! just confused.
16. I think blogging helps, and I have a good feeling about these depressing books I'm going to read.

MESSAGE OF THE DAY: Its not that your parents don't understand you, its that they don't know how to get you to understand they care

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